Tonight my heart feels full. I started a new book, yes, the one my therapist recommended. We heard a man rap and beat box to The Cat in the Hat at the library. The kids danced along. I love watching their little bodies feel the freedom and confidence to dance. Fields does a fist pumping move. Then we got cheese pizza. Instead of having all 3 of them in my bed, I pulled two of their mattresses into the room. So they are all in there. Sound asleep. Guess I’ll join them. (There are things that I tell myself are “for the moment.” This sleeping arrangement is one of those things.)
These rugs may be from orangeskin.com.
So, after that honesty in my lack of confidence regarding current events. I feel like sharing some things I do know.
1. I know that we should try to get out to Jeremy Collin’s film, Drawn this Friday night at 7pm @ the Nelson.
2. I know that Seoul is a good listen.
3. I know that UpDown has enormous group Jenga that will be sure to provide some humor to your evening.
4. I know that I live vicariously through people that go on vacations, and I should probably plan one.
5. I know that I’m enjoying this book, but I better finish it soon and move on to the book my therapist keeps recommending.
6. I know that this paint color is a go-to, never let you down white and it is on every wall of my house.
7. Lastly, I know that I’m glad to be alive. That I’m better off when I’m keeping up with this, and the Enneagram is fantastic.
Let me be quite honest, I don’t keep up with current events. I really want to, I know that I need to, but I can’t even pretend to be a part of the conversation. Ugh. There have been seasons where I read the news, but I often rely on others to give me a snapshot of what’s going on in the world. Why is this? It’s definitely not a lack of interest, but I think I avoid it because of my strong emotional connections. I feel deeply for others, and I avoid the bad news, the heartache. It’s really not an excuse, and I feel so vulnerable to be honest about this. What if I could carry on better conversations with people? Recently, I’ve been continuing to read the Skimm. Heard of it? It’s short, well written, funny, and probably doesn’t count but hey I’m actually keeping up with it.
Will I have the confidence to start a conversation with, “Hey, did you hear about the political scandal over there in Utah?” Probably not. Because I would most likely be slightly off with the factuals. I do really appreciate those folks that give me really quick low down when they are like, “Can you believe what happened in Texas?” And I’m like, “I’ll believe it when you give me a quick update on what happened in Texas.” (The seven in me does this at the dinner party…“I mean, this conversation is nice and all, but I really hope they want to go dancing later.”)
So here’s to the Skimm, and keeping me more in the know than I would have been otherwise. And here’s to the confidence to start a conversation.
Hensley, tonight I heard you telling Lucy (our neighbors little friend) this. “My mom is so sweet. She’s like…American!” Thanks for that bit of joy that made my heart flutter for a second, then laugh. I’m like, American, huh? Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and I am glad I caught you saying that to Lucy.
Dear children, I love you. You are sunshine on a cloudy day. I can hear your giggles even when I’m away. For your precious lives I pray…Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy.
May you know the goodness of the Lord. May you feel the strength of his arms. May you be protected from harm, from sickness. May you show kindness to others.
I cannot keep you from sadness, but oh my soul yearns to do so. You are very loved by your Daddy, and by Me. May you seek God, live life with fullness, be generous and brave. May the hope of your journey be in Jesus. I love you. – Mom